People who need to sigh while doing their duty in life.

If you are on a bus and a pregnant woman, an elderly woman, a woman in heels, an elderly man, a man who looks ill or exhausted, etc. move your ass! You don't need to look down, shake your head, or groan. Instead, you should feel happy to oblige them. I do. I feel happy to be able to move for someone and enjoy the bus ride. The jerking around, the noise, the people. Get in the habit of Loving people and little harrassments are meaningless.

If someone else didn't pick up their mess, you don't need to sigh while you pick it up. You don't need to go to another housemate about the situation. Pick it up. If it becomes a habit, talk to the person directly. The only exception being your children that I can think of. Of course if you are the "parent" of your parents than the situation is reversed. Either way it is abusive to "sigh" at everything. It pressures people and it's morally denigrating to yourself not just others. You get in the habit of believing you are doing more than others. You aren't. Don't make your parents feel bad for not doing everything when they are abusive, alcoholic, etc. Think of Noah and his three sons. Don't make your children feel like they will never amount to anything or whatever else they can come up with to believe about themselves because you "sighed."

In conclusion, it really pisses me off when people consider courtesy as etiquette and not duty. I mean etiquette doesn't always demand you to have courtesy. But duty demands you to be courteous when in Rome. Etiquette depends on the situation and the people. and the time also so... what's the difference?  

Amendment: When to sigh or groan. To your S.O. privately so they can help you think about it and encourage you.

“Baby, interesting name to call a man you barely know? Do you know me?”

“Well, of course, I don’t know you. I apologize for the familiarity, Mr. Donaldson.”

“No, it’s not that. I just have this sense of déjà vu, and do you remember me?” He didn’t sit down yet. He was three feet into the room with one leg mid-stride, ready to pivot, ready to rush forward, toes pointed towards her. It was not a threatening stance, but she felt his urgency.

Elizabeth stopped eyes wide and lost for a second. “No, I don’t remember you. What are you talking about? Did you go to school in Texas? I went to Trinity in San Antonio.” She swivels in her chair to point out the licenses in the walls. G-d knows she didn’t remember one year of it, but she still knew how to practice. About three years ago Dr. Corey had been found in her friend’s apartment, ripped open with a wide gash in her head. There were a lot of things she didn’t remember. She still could create new long term memories and her short term was good enough to keep up with her patients with some notes. Hell, she had the feeling she’d never been the seamless sort anyway. She was, however, observant. This man had come to her out of no where yesterday. How did he say he found her? He said he was a murderer. “So we know each other?” She doesn’t move a muscle on her face and you couldn’t find a man who would be able to see the fear in her eyes. All false poise behind would be grace. But this man did see it. She saw it in his face as he leaned real slow back onto his heels and he dropped his shoulders fast. Shoulders that had been rolled forward seconds ago. Dangerous, he knew her, and she didn’t know how.

“Yeah, actually I did go to Trinity for my bachelor’s degree. So maybe that’s why I have that feeling,” he tosses the words over his shoulder as he strides across the room to squat down on the center edge of her sofa.

She remains behind her desk, pretending to review his file and marks that down. “Oh, perhaps we had a class together. What did you major in?”

“Mechanical Engineering.” He sits back in the sofa and crosses on leg over the other.

She knows he picked that up from somewhere else. He’s pretending to be someone else to be able to talk to me. How do I know that? “I can’t imagine what we could have been in together. I guess it’s kind of obvious I majored in psychology. Did you participate in any of the clubs?” After the accident…when they found her with what was left of her wallet, they did as thorough an investigation as possible to find out what she had been involved in- some intramural tennis and a white water rafting group.

“No.” He doesn’t move and his eyes looked sad and a little tense.

Elizabeth gets up out of her chair and walks barefoot over to the sofa chair near her patient couch. She’s got red lines over the tops of her feet from the straps of her shoes. Damn, the man was beautiful. “So, tell me why you’re here, what you came to talk about?”

 “A girl I knew at Trinity.” He kind of impulsively lies down on the couch- flat back like a stiff corpse. No sighs, no exhale to go along with the move. He just kept holding his breath.

She wanted to talk to him about the dangers of sleep apnea and living a ‘waking life’, but decided to skip the clichés with this man. “What was she like?”

“Mine.” He sits back up quick and looks her dead in the face before putting his gaze back down on the floor.

Normally, that kind of thing caused Ms. Corey to recoil. But for some odd reason she busted out with a short laugh. The man looked like the most serious puppy dog she’d ever seen. So he had been in love with this girl. “What she do? Leave you?” She sagged a bit in her chair. “Toss me my blanket.”

“What if I’m cold? I’m the one paying for this hour.”

“You’re not cold.”

“I know, I know, you think just because I’m skinny my metabolism is higher and I am therefore producing more body heat.”

Actually, she did. “What are you saying, Mr. Donaldson, that I’m fat?”

“Triflin’ hoe, don’t put words in my mouth.”

Ms. Corey blinked. What did he just say to her? What a conversation by rote. Somewhere in outer space, in the mental plane where memories are born into new thoughts, something clicked, waiting to be understood. She got stiff, “I’m never trifling.”

“Yes, dear,” he mumbles. He tossed her the blanket. “Actually, my name is Dr. Jack Donaldson. I kept going to school and graduated about two years ago. And I am never triflin’.” “Come here.”
Why did she do it? She actually got up and sat on the couch next to him. She sat straight up like she did it all the time, but G-d and His angels knew her for the sloucher she was. She watched him caress her breasts with his eyes and she began to slouch again.

He leaned over his legs, now with both feet pressed firm on the floor. Elbows on his knees, he brought one finger to his lips, pushing his jaw into the rest of his hand to tilt his head towards her and look her over some more.

“Tell me more about Your lady….”

“She has a house in her eyes.”

“What?”

“No, I’m serious; she has a whole house in her eyes and some walkways near green grass-some rolling hills. You walk into them and enter the house. Behind the fence are all her children.”

Elizabeth swallowed, “Do you have children?” Something clicked- something like jealousy hit that tense place behind her sternum.

He looked down and didn’t answer the questions. He turned on the sofa to completely face her with his inside leg tucked in underneath him. He laid his arm on the back of the sofa. Looked down, looked up. Eyes, all eyes, “Have you ever been in love?”

“Oh, I suppose…”

He took a little pity on her, and he didn’t look like he took much pity. She liked it. He had kind of a fierce quality about him that was too sexual to be considered polite. He scooted back from her so she could breathe again and watched her tap her chest. “Love make you panicky. I thought you said you weren’t triflin’. I guess you’ve never been in love before or must have had an ugly experience. This can’t all be about me, tell me a little bit about yourself, Ms. Elizabeth Corey who went to Trinity also.”  

“Love is Never and ugly experience.” She said it like she meant it, but actually she had no idea. She knew patients like him. They tried to get off the hook, tried to get you to talk about yourself. Not this time. What works on this man? What works on this man? She thought fast under lashes. That’s what works on this man. She smiled, rolled her shoulder back. Then the other shoulder, and looked down and up again, smiling or very happy and yet clinical, friendly smile. It didn’t work. She was actually going to have to come up with something to say. “Oh, good Lord, that was so long ago. To tell you the truth, I really don’t remember a thing now. And this session is all about you.” The smile widened.

“I’ve been in love before. I’ve been in love a few times before.”

It pissed her off to hear him say that, but she didn’t know him. He’s your patient, Elizabeth. “Tell me about these moments.”

“Well, I fell in Love with the same girl three times and once I fell in love with her…let’s call it a foreshadow…with her foreshadow.” He grabbed her hand away from her temple and took it out of her hair, threaded his fingers with her so their palms squared off.

Her heart jumped and melted back in to place and she sat a little deeper in the sofa. She gripped his hand back and tossed it too and fro, not sure what the hell to do. After all, he was her patient, and if he needed the closeness to allow him to open up, it wasn’t a waste of her time to hold his hand. “What do you mean by a foreshadow?”
“I mean my first “love” was who I expected to find; she was right there. I never expected to find the girl I was talking about. So this one came before, and I “loved” her if you will because I never saw Love before. She was a shadow, and for a blink of an eye I thought she had some light. Instead, she jaded me as first loves do.”
“Cheater?”

“Habitual.”

“The woman you lost…you aren’t still with her, are you?” She blinked, scrunching up her face. She almost pulled her hand away, and looked out of the window.

He kept hold of her hand and squeezed, then let go to bring is palm to his chest. “She’s with me.”

He was wearing a button down shirt, unbuttoned to the third button. Actually, it looked like snaps. She could just rip it open and unsnap the whole thing to get answers from him. He had a white undershirt on under it. In order to hide the glare in her eyes, she lowered her lashes to half mast and fixed the collar of his shirt. “You say you fell in love the same woman three times….”
“I did say that. Do I look unkempt?” His face went ridiculous pale and he palmed his short nearly black hair.

“You’re a dope!” She swung her feet up and onto his lap, pulling her dress up above her knees so she could look at herself. She pressed the back of her calves into the tops of his thighs and she rotated her ankles thoroughly as she rested on top of him. “Look at my feet. I’m not even wearing any shoes.”

“Yeah, your toes don’t match. They’re bright pink”

“Very astute, Dr. Donaldson.”

He tested her. “You have a very unique style, Dr. Corey.” He flicked her dress upward a little with the ulner side of his hand to squeeze just above her knee. Somehow, she didn’t expect it. Then he began to trace figure eights on her thigh using his index finger.

She moved her legs back down and replaced her skirt. She heard it in his voice. He was up to something.

“So when did you move to the area? How long have you lived here? I’m so new still. I moved here about 3 months ago.” He looked perfectly serene.

She knew he was up to something. “A few years back. I wanted to get away from the area, you know, change of pace and scenery, and I have a cousin who lives out here.”

“Do you have a boyfriend or a fiancé or anything? I mean I didn’t notice a ring on your finger?” He leaned against the back of the sofa and rested on his palm. 

“No, I don’t really date.” She raised her eyebrows at him.

Finally, the apnea patient let out an exhale.

She mirrored his yogic efforts and lets out a breath.

And out of no where he leaned forward to kiss her nose and then lower to kiss her closed mouth.

She mumbles, “I thought you were in love?”

“I am in love.” He keeps nibbling on her mouth. Down her neck and at her collarbones. He moves lower to her breasts to nibble so quickly and she draws in her breath. He slides his hands around her ribs like they belong to him. And down her sternum he licks and down her stomach in circles through the thin, pink material of her dress. Moving his hands to her hips he hikes up her skirt and begins to kiss her hips, falling on his knees in front of her and the sofa. Kissing her inner thighs until he reaches her white lacy thong and begins to bite her bare hips digging his fingers into the area the material traces below her abdomen. He begins to lick her deeply through her panties, and growls, “Beth.”
She digs her fingers into his shoulders and arches backwards. When she hears that name or mind snaps back lightning fast. She pushes his head back roughly and begins to push him gently away with the pads of her feet. Shocked faced, she blinks rapidly.

He leans back disoriented. “Wha..?”
“I’m sorry, Jack, I don’t know…sometimes I feel like. My name. You don’t know. I don’t ever know what’s…what’s going on in my mind. Sometimes, I think- I Think- I think I’m married. Don’t touch me. I told you I don’t date. We need to end this session. This isn’t professional.” She straightens up. Repositions her soaked panties and replaces her skirt at once. She looks back down at his startled face and puts her palms on either side of his head. He keeps kneeling in front of her as she threads her fingers in his short hair. She looks him so deep in the eyes and massages his scalp a minute. Pushes off the couch and down in front of him, kneeling open thighed in front of him, skirt in place. Presses one kiss to his mouth that tries to open to whisper, “Sorry,” really close and swallow his breath. Then pushes herself up off the ground using his shoulders to brace herself.

He catches her hips and grabs her thighs just beneath her bottom to nuzzle her, “Baby, I understand you don’t know me anymore.”

Her knees buckle.

He catches her. Her hands fall to his shoulders again to look down at him. He grabs them and stands up to stand really close to her and brush his chest along her as he threads he intertwines his fingers with her so that he can look down into her eyes. He presses kisses to the crown of her head and along a path of tears to her mouth to drink. “Do you know me at all, baby? Beth, do you remember me at all?”

“You feel like my world.”

“What did I tell you about that? Never make a man your world. They will only disappoint you. Don’t you remember anything?”

“You never disappointed me.” She leans in closer and let go of his hands to climb the up the wall of his chest to his shoulders and wrap them tight around a neck.

He laughs- exhales. Its sounds like a cry, like there are tears in his throat. And he kisses her more deeply. “How the hell do you know? You don’t even remember me.”

“I know.”

He commands her, “Remember me, remember everything.” He shakes her around so her head bobbles back and forth and she grips him at his collar unsnapping two more buttons with the move.

She steps back on her heels, pushes her palms flat on his chest ‘til she’s back far enough that only his fingertips are touching him. His hands are still gripping at her back. “Who are you to me?”
He moves backwards to pull a gold chain out from under his shirt. “I have something for you.” He hands it to her.

She looks at the inscription and smiles.

“You don’t have to; I don’t even feel worth it now. I thought you ran out on me. I ran around. I didn’t find out until this last year from your friend, Mike that you’d moved away because something,” he cleared his throat, “because something happened.”

“Are we married?”

“We were engaged. No one knew yet. Well, I was planning to ask you. ”

“Why didn’t anyone tell the police who investigated the incident that I was seeing someone?” She stepped back further to eyeball him.

“We weren’t dating. I was dating another girl to to protect you.”
“From what!?”
“From me!” he confessed, “We’ve never even kissed until just now.”

“Are you kidding me? Well, you sure knew what the hell you were doing just a second ago.” She paused, pissed. “You were trying not to fuck me? What are you talking about. You were planning to marry me and we weren’t even dating? You were dating someone else? She tossed the ring back at him”

He caught it.” No, not exactly, sort of….Yeah, I’m an asshole. I’ve been practicing since then. But it wasn’t like that- like what you think. I thought you thought I was a trifling little boy or some asshole guy…I am some asshole guy. I mean after you left. But I fucking LOVED YOU! I love you.” He threw his hands up to the sky looking disgusted with the human lot.

That caught her attention and ripped her soul out of her chest so it turned and looked at her for a split second. She stared herself in the face. That song by Roxette, “Listen to Your Heart” played in her inner ear. “Don’t say that about the man I Love.”

“How do you know you love me if you don’t remember anything?” He looked stricken.

“Because I know me. Times and events don’t shape who I am or anyone for that matter. No more than you allow them to. I’m always teaching that. It’s in my heart- my heartbeat- involuntary- from the moment you walked in. I can feel that even if I don’t remember squat.” She turned around in circles, chasing her tail. “For nearly three G-d damn years I’ve had a black hole in my head sucking up my life, head in a vice, what are you telling me?”

“I’m telling you for nearly as long I’ve felt the same. Please believe me, Elizabeth.” He didn’t make a move. Just stood there concentrating on breathing. “Have you been okay?”

“Yes. What have you been doing?”

“Waiting… Praying like hell you would come back to me.” Then he bent down on one knee. “It’s the same. It’s the same. I didn’t know if it would be. When I walked in here, I knew. Please, Beth, look at me.”

She had turned to face the back wall, staring at a picture of a path and a Tree. “Everyday, I would stare at this portrait. At first I saw a boy walking alongside an old man wearing his backpack. I’d look so deep in this picture, I’d see them moving and it would mesmerize me. Then one day I made a mistake of looking closer, and I realized there were no people in the picture. It was the Tree and the boy I thought I saw was a leaf dripping of it. Then I watched all the leaves fall to the ground and watched the Tree grow and watched leaves fall again. And they are falling now. You are the boy.” She turned back like a whirlwind to look at him.

“No, I am the man.”

She saw him kneeling.

“I wanted to marry you and I still do.”
“Yes.”